Anyway, what an intro. But you're not here to hear about sex and names, you want to save money and get free stuff. I am good at that, so good that I am smug, which makes me pretty unlikeable – however, I am also quite ugly, so it levels out to a manageable distain.
In my articles I want to tell you about the wonderful things I have found on the streets, tips for saving and making the most of your money and tips on what not to buy.
For the first tip, I want to paint a picture...not with paints, but with words. It is Saturday, a day free of work and strife. You are walking down a local high street with a loved one. You notice you are getting hungry, and you can hear your significant other's belly rumbling (which you find pretty unattractive) but you try and ignore it. You see a café, you go inside, hand over £8 of your hard earned money dollars for 2 x sandwich and crisps.
Compare that experience to the following.
You are sitting in front of a computer screen, you have to move a keyboard to put down your plate. In the process of doing, a pen rolls on to your lap then to the floor. You reach down, spill your tea a little, and crush your crisps. You start to eat, and then are engaged in conversation by a group of glorified acquaintances while you can hear the giggling of YouTube trampoline accidents.
You would not pay for this experience in your own time, so stop paying for this at work. The moral of this story is MAKE YOUR FOOD AT HOME.
Let's be clear, work is pain. To be honest, if work really was fun, go there now! I don't want to see your face again. But work is not fun and having a pre-packaged sandwich or a gourmet ham and pear pastry is not going to make it better. It is not whisking you away to some tropical paradise for the eating duration.
Let's look at the maths... A Tesco meal deal is £2.50 for a sandwich/crisps/drink. That is £12.50 a week, that is around a whooping £600 over the year, and that is a tax for being at work! Depending on your job, that is a week of work! Of the people that are doing this you can guarantee that
A. These people are hard-up at the end of the month
B. They have fully functional hands
I learned my lesson early on in this regards when I working Saturdays for 'Home and Garden' in Gosport selling Warhammer figures. I got £20 for the day's work, and it was at this time I discovered the delicious taste of the pre-made chicken salad sandwiches. I would get an advance each Saturday to buy my lunch, and at the end of the day my pay was suddenly just £16.29. As the change jangled in my pocket while I rode my racer home, it became clear that being perched on an awkward high stool surrounded by the smell of sawdust and ambient murmurs of queries regarding allen keys and Dylon was not worth it. Those 8 minutes of taste was not worth a wage reduction.
Next time I will give you some hints for cheap and filling lunches. I keep mine to under 25p a day.
BINBOY'S WHAT NOT TO BUY
This week, do not buy the new Rihanna CD. This includes a track with Chris Brown (who at some point pulled his fist back to propel it into her scared crying face). Enough said.